Crust and Struggle


We decided to give Crust & Cream another chance because opening day jitters and whatnot. Check it out.

Crust and Cream

11 Musa Yardua, Victoria Island, Lagos.

01 295 8105



Folly ordered a barbecue beef burger, Nosa ordered chicken quesadillas. Folly’s burger arrived tasteless and cold, while Nosa’s order never arrived. They both left hungry. The End.


 The Long Story

FOLLY: I got invited to the opening of Crust and Cream, “a new bakery, pastry and bistro”.  Yeah a lot. Maybe that could explain the disorderliness. I forwarded the message to Nosa and naturally he was in. Manchester United’s game delayed our brunch to lunch but in this situation that was my personal problem, oh well.

The Space

FOLLY: We arrived, greeted some familiar faces and then went wandering into a wide-open space because really that is what it is. The restaurant has a very nice space – bright with lots of natural lighting, floor to ceiling windows, everything. I was still wandering around when I overheard Nosa talking to some waiters, they were showing him what I overheard was called the “Smoker's Lodge”. I didn’t peek into the smokers lodge but it seemed like quite a huge chunk of the restaurant was being devoted to this smoker’s paradise, as there appeared to be considerably less seating available in the non-smoking area. Whelp.

NOSA: The place was pretty much laid out like a toddler planned it. The only two areas that made any sense or looked like they were created with any sort of foresight are the the "Smoker's Lodge" and the pastry area. Everything else felt like "well, we have all this space, we have to do something". The tiny bar, which no one can sit at, is right beside the kitchen. The salad bar is smack dab in the middle of some expansive real estate with a TV right behind it. The "hallway" to the smoking area is lined with a couple of tables and chairs to form the most awkward dining area in the history of anything.

A smarter man than I am would have the salad bar and the bar switch places. The salad bar gets smaller real estate and doesn't look so lonely, while the bar gets potential seating area. Oh, and that awkward hallway-meets-dining area gets scrapped completely. 

The Food

FOLLY: NOSA’S QUESADILLAS NEVER ARRIVED. As in, they just never showed up. Like they didn’t even RSVP no with regrets. It was almost like they were never ordered. Apparently what had happened was that they didn’t have quesadillas and the waiter had tragically not been trained to inform the customer that their selection was unavailable, with that you know unapologetic, there’s nothing I can do about it one liner, the “madam/oga what you order is not available”.

I bet that's like a crepe, but better because it has more letters in it

I bet that's like a crepe, but better because it has more letters in it

NOSA: The patty in Folly's burger was bland and cold. The mushrooms and bun were perfect though, but she didn't order a barbecue mushroom sandwich so that doesn't mean anything here. The fries were terrible. No sugar coating it. You know those frozen fries from Tesco that taste better when you put them in the oven but your mother always deep fries them? Your mother made Folly's fries. On the bright side, the patty tasted like it was made from actual meat. Not 30% meat like Taco Bell or that struggle Mr. Biggs serves you. It was proper ground beef worked into a patty with no seasoning whatsoever. Delicious. 

The Redeeming Qualities

FOLLY: I’m not sure what to call them but some sort of seasoned bread bites/knots we were given along with the dessert as compensation for Nosa’s food never making an appearance were a hit. 

NOSA: None for me, because I didn't, like, get any food.