We Ordered From the Kids' Menu ???

November 25, 2015 Nosa O

NOSA: The last time we were here, they had some weird "No POS" thing that I'm so sure the waiter made up because he wanted to pocket the money. I have no proof but I think these waiters use "POS is not working" as an excuse to rob their bosses.

FOLLY: All businesses really, I was getting my nails done at a new salon once and the cashier told me that I couldn’t use my card to pay cause “it’s different”. Of course, I didn’t get a receipt either.

NOSA: Anyway, we got a ham and mushroom bruschetta to start. Actually, in retrospect, was it called bruschetta on the menu ? or was it a flatbread pizza and my inner philistine is showing.

Whatevs.

FOLLY: The menu certainly called this a Bruschetta, however it looked a lot like pizza. It also made me realize that La Taverna has the best ham and parma ham in the WHOLE of Lagos.

NOSA: The bread wasn't stale and the cheese was great so whatever this thing was, it's good in my book. I can dig it.

FOLLY: For our mains, Nosa has the Tortellini Casa Pomodoro, while I had the Spaghetti Vongolle.

NOSA: Tortellini is one of my favorite pastas, a couple steps ahead of penne and farfalle. In college, I used to make tortellini alls vodka with frozen tortellini things I got at Walmart. Washed bare honeys with my fake cooking ability. I really was a catch in college now that I think about it.

FOLLY: You're a fraud sha

NOSA: I really want to know why these Manuela people served me kiddie portion pasta. Damn near asked the waiter to go bring the rest of my food. I'd have understood if they added a toy with it, as per Happy Meal, since they're convinced I'm child. Big man like me and you serve me this? Very rude, fam. Very rude.

FOLLY: I was lucky that my pasta was spaghetti so the chef was able to sneak in more food for me into the tiny dish.

What really bothered me were my missing clamshells. Like how am I meant to know I’m eating clams and not periwinkle when I have no shells to show for it? I was expecting this:

The picture on the menu even had the clams served with the shells so I was too surprised. I've only ever had spaghetti vongole twice, other time was at our Lunch Club with Chef Flo from the picture above and that was infinitely better

NOSA: The pasta was a little harder than al dente. It was beyond eating, however. I ate it all obvs, but yeah, it could have done a minute more on the fire.

FOLLY: Come to think about it I didn’t taste Nosa’s tortellini at all. It was such a tiny portion that I must have sub consciously felt I would have been depriving him the extra piece or two.

FOLLY: Their cook is my kinsman on the low, just peep all that ororo at the bottom of the plate.

POSTSCRIPT

NOSA: The food is good enough. A bit like me in secondary school. I wasn't in the top percentile, but i wasn't a complete idiot either. You need people like that. They're good for business.

FOLLY: LOL Wut ???

VERDICT

DAMAGE

Bruschetta Classic (Big) – N1500

Tortellini Casa Pomodoro – N3600

Spaghetti Vongolle – N3800