Smothered Biscuit

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The day I had my first Smothered Biscuit experience, it felt like a good day to order in, because not every time going outside and eat. I wanted a breakfast sandwich-type meal, and I had low-key been eyeing their menu for a while now, so it seemed like the perfect time.

I had another look at the menu, weighed my options, and when I was satisfied, called them up to place my order. They had everything but dessert, which I was told was no longer on the menu, so I took my L and paid for the available ones.

“It should be ready in 35 minutes,” the salesperson said, and even though I was secretly chuckling, I silently prayed they would truly deliver in good time.

I finally get my food. I noticed two things right away: How delicious it smelled (which made me hungrier), and how greasy the sides of the bag were, but hey! Greasy comfort food was what I was going for, so I wasn’t complaining.

What I ordered:

Brooklyn Biscuits

Coleslaw

Lemon Pepper Combo

Cornbread

BBQ Wings

So, the Brooklyn Biscuit sandwich is the one I’ve had my eyes on since I came across their menu. This combo includes buttermilk fried chicken, bacon and eggs, with a side of fries, which is supposed to make for a delicious sandwich, but I don’t know what to say. The biscuits were really soggy, I think from the moisture of the buttermilk chicken, which, by the way, I think they should have just called “black pepper breaded chicken,” because that’s all I could taste. It overwhelmed the taste of the biscuits, eggs and bacon.

I also couldn’t taste my bacon (?!!), and aside from that, the sandwich was soggy and not well seasoned. It was just… no.

I also got one of their chicken combos — the Lemon Pepper Chicken combo, which consisted of four pieces of fried wings, a portion of fries and a biscuit. I think the biscuit here was better because it was plain, so not as soggy as the sandwich one. As for the lemon pepper wings, some were still uncooked when I bit into them, and even the ones that were semi-cooked still tasted like nothing with a hint of pepper.

Then the fries… these were the soggiest fries you will ever see/taste (looking back, that’s probably what made my delivery bag look greasy when it first got to me). I think it was frozen when it went into the oil, the oil itself wasn’t hot enough and they just said, “oh well”, and sold it to me like that.

I ordered an extra portion of wings and opted for the BBQ ones, as per variety. You guys, I shouldn’t have, because first of all, what type of BBQ sauce was that? When I bit into it, my eyes literally twitched! 😳 The BBQ sauce had a bitter undertone and generally tasted not great.

I ordered a coleslaw because I am a big vegetable girl, and I just love coleslaw. I dove into the slaw, hoping it would take me out of my misery, but it took me even deeper into it. I know black pepper is a superior spice, but please not inside coleslaw, and if you say you want to make it your secret ingredient in the salad, make it just that — a secret. The black pepper did what banana does to other fruits in a smoothie, it dominated it. And I think they tried to make it sweet, because it was really sugary 🤦🏽‍♀️

I saved the cornbread for last because, while it was far from great, it was the only one that got a third bite. Taste-wise, it was good, and even though the outside was soggy, somehow the inside remained dry, and together both textures kinds worked-ish.

By and large, the whole meal was as overwhelming as it was underwhelming. I have to say my food did not spark joy, and the ‘comfort food’ was not comforting. And that’s that about that.

Order at your own risk 🚨

Damage

Brooklyn Biscuits — N5000

Coleslaw — N800

Lemon Pepper Combo — N5000

Cornbread — N1200

BBQ Wings (extra portion) — N2500