It goes without saying that Hollywood and the American industry mostly shape what becomes the pop culture of any given era. Case in point, our obsession with baggy jeans and hip hop in the ‘90s and early noughties. 

Food has always been a huge part of romance in Hollywood and over time, we’ve come to associate certain foods like pasta and chocolates with romance. As Hollywood churned out endless soapy rom coms in the 2000s, we looked up to the cliché and redundant presentation of romance in these movies for inspiration and even began to set standards based on dining scenes.

A typical scene like this begins with romantic music playing in the background with a couple on a date, probably an indoor date where they cook together and make faces at each other while at it. We don’t get to see them set the table most of the time, the scene simply cuts to the ridiculously attractive couple gazing deeply into each other’s eyes over a plate of spaghetti. By ‘accident’, they pick the same strand of spaghetto, and now, they’re inching closer towards each other and boom, they kiss. 

For the coup de grâce, they enjoy some dessert, probably chocolate-covered strawberries, and with just a few pieces of basic food items, the scene is set for a steamy romp session.

It doesn’t end here though. The morning after, one of them will make pancakes and eggs, and we, the viewers will swoon and crave for someone who will swoop in and dazzle us like this. In my opinion, pancakes are literally just fried batter, but somehow, they’ve become a way to say “I’m really into you.” As much as we like to form hard guy in this part of the world and roll our eyes at the many sappy movies that exist, deep down you probably fervently ask in your prayers, “God when?”.

Interestingly, Nollywood’s version of romance involves eating fried rice and chicken in a Mr Biggs-style restaurant. The couple feeds each other roughly four spoons of rice over a glass of cheap wine as they gaze deeply into each other’s eyes, with a random Celine Dion song playing in the background, because what’s a romantic Nollywood scene without Celine Dion?

To be fair, sometimes the producers are kind enough to spice things up with a romantic picnic scene, with Van Vicker chasing none other than Nadia Buhari to some more Celine Dion music. But I can swear that the only thing in that picnic basket would be a pack of old school 5 Alive juice. 

Well, I guess we hardly saw men cook for women in old Nollywood films because how many Nigerian men can actually cook something other than noodles and veggies? Let’s not forget how misogynistic a lot of those movies were back then and in their defence, they also had to use the little tools they had to create the classics we now enjoy.

Look, I love fried rice and chicken as much as the next person, but where’s the romance in eating such a basic meal? Rice is the most universal grain in the country and has become an integral meal in any household, with the jollof and fried versions being the go-to for special occasions.

However, I think our culture and experiences are too versatile for us to be stuck with rice when we have over 200 tribes with different languages and cultural expressions.

Thankfully, restaurants like Nok, Ile Eros, and others have become known for their fusion meals and creative interpretation of Nigerian dishes, so it would be great to see these names consult for coming romance projects in our film industry.

Granted, EbonyLife’s 2017 Valentine’s Day release, The Royal Hibiscus Hotel almost hit the spot as they tried to explore food and love in addition to Chef Imoteda’s brief cameo, I really wish we had more movies like this while growing up. 

So how then can we show love with food if our source of inspiration will probably give you food poisoning? 

If you’re a regular spectator of the weekly relationship drama on Twitter, you’ll know that many people weirdly associate struggle, tests and tribulations with love. Case in point, the people who believe in testing their significant others with food. 

According to this logic, nothing screams love like enduring the hard times with your person while gulping down on carbs with them. And so, garri is definitely the best romantic option in this scenario. Now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with garri, in fact, it is disappointing that this staple has become associated with struggle and poverty.

But since you people are out here slapping people’s children for frying four eggs, and defending your right to serve your significant others disrespectful meals as a test of love, you might as well throw in a bowl of garri, since we’re being ridiculous. 

Drama and struggle aside, there have to be other ways of exploring food and love, especially during Valentine’s season. For instance, there could be something hot about watching your partner pound yam for you with their perfectly sculpted biceps and if you ask me, there’s an innuendo about them pounding something else later in there. As you dig into your meal, slap some of that slippery ewedu down their arms, so they can give it a lick with sexy precision. Romance, Ibadan style. 

I do have a few other suggestions I’d like filmmakers to consider when exploring food and love: 

Cooking afang. 

I can’t imagine cooking afang for just anybody, with the one million steps involved. However, any other delicious soup will do in this case, but it’s time to leave rice alone when you tell your lover, “I made your favourite”. 

Restaurant hopping. 

This is an extreme sport because you never know when you’ll get subpar food or food poisoning. Anyone Lagosian knows that there are less than four places where you should be eating amala in the entire city. Nothing says “I love you” than finding the best amala joint in the city with your significant other.

Finally, please let them fry more than three eggs,

Stop the violence, abeg. Enough said. 

Written By Love Akinkunle

Love Akinkunle is a freelance writer and editor with peculiar tastebuds. When she's not telling stories, she's reading a memoir, or fantasising about magical places on the African continent.