You know what they say: You are what you drink. In the same way you can judge someone’s character by whether or not they like pineapples on their pizza, you can also tell a lot about a person from their choice of cocktails. So after a lot of extensive research (read: a lot of drinking 🥰) and people-watching, I’ve come up with a list to expose you all for who you truly are.

Just kidding, but in this Lagos where weyrey dey disguise, this list may come in handy sooner than you think. Bottoms up and read on!

Awon ti fitfam because let’s face it, why are you drinking cocktails with ugwu in it? Do you even have an interest in cocktails? Or did you just pick the best name off the menu?

I think if you drink Mojito, you are either a vegetarian or just really an adult. You and your grown friends probably go to Shiro to drink a plant-based diet drink and talk about Nigerian politics all evening like old Nigerian uncles and aunties do.

Omo. Let me first of all hail you then proceed to ask: What are you running away from? Are you okay? You are either going through it or like to live life on the edge. A Long Island drinker is wild AF.

These people live their lives on a YOLO and don’t mind throwing caution to the wind. They might also just be having a rough time and think: I know what would make me feel better - a Long Island. Take it easy sha.

Hot boy and girl SZN! 🔥 You know what’s up and love to take risks. You are also bold and adventurous. For you to choose a rum-based drink shows that you are young at heart, fun to be with and the life of the party.

You don’t mind locking eyes with one or two people at the bar, as long as it ends there.

Alexa, play Miss Independent. The name already gives off a mature vibe. You’re the Rich Aunty who just wants to unwind after a long day of doing boss things. People who love the Cosmo take delight in their freedom and independence. They run things, things don’t run them.

Sipping on a glass of this cocktail shows that you are in control... or probably watch(ed) a lot of Sex and the City... or both?

The owner of a cocktail with such a bold flavour has to have an extremely bold drinker. It packs a punch with its blend of sweet, salty and sour - designed only for a person that has a strong mind.

These drinkers have so much energy, are mostly outgoing and don’t mind having eyes on them. You love the good life, the baby girl/boy lifestyle and you never want to miss out.

Hmmm, we see you. Good girl/boy gone bad 👏🏾 You’re definitely one to spice things up. Chapman is a Lagos classic and spiking it with a dash (or more) of alcohol allows you to explore a familiar drink with a twist.

If this is your cocktail, you are certainly naughty and like to push the boundaries. Love to see it.

What (or who) did we miss? Also, leave a comment telling us which cocktail accurately describes you!

Iroro Alloh is a senior copywriter at Insight Publicis who low-key enjoys her job. When she’s not writing and creating content, she’s finding ways to maintain her baby girl lifestyle without going broke.