Editor’s note: Not long ago, we asked our social media followers to share the worst pasta shapes they’ve ever had. While the responses were hilarious, we decided to share our own ranking of pasta shapes because people were hating on the glorious penne, and we just couldn’t let that slide. If you need a crash course on pasta shapes, start here, test your knowledge here, and then come back for this ranking. Enjoy!

Pasta is easily one of the greatest culinary creations of all time. Without a doubt, pasta is everything. The very existence of pasta makes me feel like there’s still some sanity left in this world. 

While there are over 1300 pasta shapes in existence, here in Nigeria, we enjoy the more common varieties such as spaghetti, macaroni, fusilli, lasagna and the likes.

In this article, I will be ranking some of the more common pasta shapes available here in Lagos. I’ll be going from my worst to my best and on a scale of ‘why does this even exist?’ to ‘THIS WAS CREATED BY SOMEONE DIVINE, I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK’. 

Cavatappi

I’ll be honest with you, I think cavatappi is cute. Then again, I think literally everything is cute. With cavatappi, I sincerely don’t think this belongs in a plate. On a 5-year-old’s pasta artwork, sure, but not on a plate.

Ranking: For a pasta shape that looks so much like a funhouse slide, it’s really no fun.

Macaroni 

Macaroni is basically Cavatappi without the extra turn. Once you get over your love for Mac and Cheese, you realise that macaroni is basically a fraud. It wants you to think it’s proper but is it? Is it really? 

Ranking: Macaroni’s popularity around the world is a constant reminder that if you believe in yourself, people might just go with it. 

Farfalle

To be fair, Farfalle is an extremely cute pasta shape. You don’t see pasta shaped like bow-ties or butterflies everyday. However, besides the aesthetic, there isn’t much to it. 

Ranking: This pasta shape is the Instagram model of pasta shapes. It’s absolutely gorgeous to look at but then, that’s about it.

Orzo

Orzo looks a lot like long-grain rice. To the untrained eye, there’s no telling between orzo and long-grain rice when placed in a plate. While orzo doesn’t taste like long-grain rice, it’s a perfect substitute for one or the other in dishes.

Ranking: I stan a versatile pasta shape! While there’s a part of me tempted to say ‘do you’, you just have to stan versatility.

Fusilli

Fusilli is a fun pasta shape done right. Available in different colours, particularly green, red, and yellow, fusilli combines both aesthetics and functionality. It’s fun to look at in your plate and when combined with sauces, does an excellent job at absorbing them.

Ranking: If you want to have fun, try the fusilli! 

Spaghetti 

Spaghetti is the most common pasta shape in the world and for good reason; it works with basically everything. The most beautiful thing about spaghetti is how it’s willing to collaborate with whatever sauce or meat it’s being paired with. It’s absolutely excellent.

Ranking: An unproblematic pasta shape. We absolutely love to see it. If you disagree, write your own list!

Lasagna

While there’s a lot of controversy of the spelling of this pasta shape, there is no controversy on its absolute perfection.  The only reason lasagna isn’t the highest-ranking pasta shape here is that for us lazy folk, cooking with ovens sounds like too much work. But when we do decide to turn up the ovens, with lasagna, it’s always a party!

Ranking: I’ve never heard any bad reviews about lasagna. Have you? 

Linguini

In shape, linguine is very similar to spaghetti. The only difference is that while spaghetti is rounder and more spherical, linguini is more elliptical and flat. Just like spaghetti also, linguini works well with basically everything. 

Ranking: In my opinion, linguini is more of a party in your mouth than spaghetti is and that’s why it ranks so highly on this list.

Fettuccine 

Flatter than linguini, fettuccine is the perfect pasta for butter-based sauces. Quick and easy to prepare, everything about fettuccine rocks from the way it looks to the way it tastes.

Ranking: I don’t have many words to describe my love for fettuccine. It’s just excellent!

Penne

What works better than penne? That’s a rhetorical question, so don’t bother answering. If you did bother answering, the only answer to that question would be nothing! Nothing is better than penne. Nothing.

Ranking: I said what I said. I’m still saying what I’m saying. Do with this information what you will.

What are your best and worst pasta shapes? Tell us in the comment section!