When you have to sit still in your house in order to avoid being an unwitting vector in a pandemic, there are several things you need to remain sane. One of these things is snacks.

Snacks are a vital part of our existence. We snack in school, at work, in church, literally everywhere. In the middle of a pandemic, where life as we know it has been thwarted, our constant snacking habits are one the only things that bear semblance to the life we had before.

For the lockdown, several of us stocked up on our favourite snacks and in this article, I’ll be ranking some of the more common social distancing snacks from best to worst. The scale is broken this time and I have a bit of a surprise at the end.

McVities’ Shortbread Cookies

Shortbread cookies are absolutely delicious. However, Shortbread cookies are only delicious when they’re stolen or begged for from the original owner. 

Ranking:  Since you can’t steal or beg from yourself, they aren’t as enjoyable these days.

Minimie Chin Chin

Minimie chin chin is the perfect snack for anything. Delicious, versatile and inexpensive. Just be careful with this, though. In case you wake up the next morning and your jaw is sore, you know the culprit.

Ranking:  Minimie is delicious but is the potential lockjaw really worth it? I think it is but you decide.

Plantain Chips

Plantain chips are a Nigerian bare necessity. Make sure you get enough because the siren call of plantain chips will alert everyone in your family that a pack is being opened and devoured.

Ranking: Keep your snacks close but the bare necessities closer.

Sweet Potato Chips

Sweet potato chips are the one thing you absolutely have to have in a lockdown. Also, yes, I think sweet potato chips are better than plantain chips. You can come fight me if you want. Oh wait, you can’t. We’re in the middle of a lockdown.

Ranking: Are you still coming to terms with the fact that I said sweet potato chips are better than plantain chips? I said what I said.

Nuts

Peanuts, Cashew nuts, Walnuts, Pistachios, Almonds, you name it! Nuts are a great snack option because they can be paired with both other snacks and fruits such as grapes. Enjoy as many variants of trail mixes as you want this season.

Verdict: I’m nutty for nuts. Forgive the horrible pun.

Pringles

Pringles are an excellent snack choice. The assortment of flavours and sizes allows you different ways to enjoy the novel snack. Make sure to regulate your intake because of the sodium levels, though.

Ranking: Pringles are perfect. Not Pringles Original, though. Bin that. I SAID WHAT I SAID

Chocolates

Chocolates - with the exception of Snickers and Mars - are a basic human right. I know for a fact that chocolates may be the only thing keeping a bulk of us in the right spirits. Imagine being stuck without Maltesers? God, no.

Ranking Long live the cocoa pod! 

Chocolate chip cookies

The only thing better than actual chocolates is chocolate chip cookies. Famous Amos, Fox Cookies, Maryland Cookies, you name it! Give it to us all!

Ranking:  GIVE ME THE COOKIES.

Bounty

Let it be known that I’m placing Bounty at the top of this list simply because I love anarchy. I did this simply because I can. Bounty is the best social distancing snack on the market. Argue with your societal standards.

Ranking: Are you bewildered by this placement? That’s exactly what it feels like when you give a terrorist a platform. Love to see it! 

Can you see your social distancing favourites on the list? If not, you have to tell us in the comment section!