Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and one of the most popular and most convenient breakfast items around the world today is cereal.

Traditionally made from grains, cereal has been around for a very long time. Warm cereals including grits, cornmeal and porridge have been consumed in global societies for centuries. Today, cereal is consumed all over the world by billions of its inhabitants. In the United States alone, 2.7 billion boxes of cereal are consumed annually.

Currently, there are over 1,000 variations of breakfast cereals across the world. Within each country and community, the cereal brands maintain a diversity which satisfies the unique tastes of each and every consumer on the market. While cereal brands such as Kellogs and Nestle are popular across the world, other brands like Infinity and Nasco are more indigenous. In this article, I’ll be ranking popular cereals from worst to best on the scale of ‘you should have left the grain alone’ to ‘this is a breakfast option on Mount Olympus’.

Nasco Cornflakes

If you’re a Nigerian, particularly one who attended a boarding school and you’ve never had Nasco cornflakes, you need to have your citizenship revoked. Give it back, you don’t belong here.

The first time I had Nasco cornflakes, I was in a tough place, an 8-year-old in the wicked world of boarding school. My first boarding school, ABEC, didn’t make matters any better seeing as the senior students were practising for their careers as demons in the afterlife.

This story is simple; a senior student took my Kellogg's cornflakes and gave me her Nasco cornflakes instead. I didn’t think the cornflakes would be THAT bad but after my first spoon, I just requested to call home so I could cry to my dad.

Verdict: You should’ve left the corn alone.

Weetabix

Have you tasted regret? Do you know what it feels like to have failure trail down your throat? Have you ever been punched in the gut? All these and many more were felt and experienced when I tried Weetabix.

Are they still in business? Do people actually consume this cereal? Do they actually enjoy it? Wetin Moses no go see for Egypt?

Verdict: I volunteer to go back in time and give the wheat used in creating this cereal to the Egyptians during their seven years of famine.

Golden Morn

I remember the first time I had Golden Morn. I was a three-year-old still demanding to be fed Cerelac, and frankly speaking, my mum was getting fed up. She decided to substitute Cerelac with Golden Morn seeing as it was a cheaper and more convenient alternative to baby food. It was time to grow up.

On that fateful day, my sister and I sat in the living room while our mum presented us with two bowls each which she tagged “an alternative to Cerelac which is just as good”. We trusted her. We really did.

Golden Morn is not an alternative to Cerelac which is just as good. It’s not an alternative to anything good. It’s. Just. Wrong. In tears, I picked up my half-eaten bowl, deposited it in the kitchen sink and went to look for my father so I could report his wife for trying to murder me.

Verdict: Golden Morn is as disappointing as adulthood. 1/10, would not recommend.

Infinity Cornflakes

Let me tell you the story of how I discovered Infinity cornflakes. It was on one fateful morning, after partying with a few friends.

I woke up post-rock shenanigans, desperately hungry and too lazy to cook. Combing through the kitchen shelves, I found a pack of unopened Infinity cornflakes, my ultimate nightmare.

I should’ve just gone back to bed. With this brand of cornflakes, I can’t categorically tell you what I don’t like about it. I just don’t like it. The taste was off, the smell was weird and it didn’t have any appeal to me. Kolewerk.

Verdict: The mascot on the pack is wearing a helmet, and that’s the right fashion accessory for when you need to leave a place quickly. Leave, dear.

Fruit ‘n’ Fibre

Fruit ‘n’ Fibre is a great cereal. It’s packed with vitamins, minerals and a very high fibre content which is good for the overall health and well-being of the body. Keeping this in mind, you may be wondering why it’s in the bottom 5 of this list. One word; bananas.

Fruit ‘n’ Fibre could easily be one of my favourite cereal brands of all time if they would just remove the damn bananas from the mix. Why are they even there? For most people, the raisins ruin the cereal, but in my opinion, those are the best part. Just take out the bananas, babies. It can’t even be this hard.

Verdict: Take out the bananas, then we’ll talk.

Coco Pops

The Kellogg’s company produces some of the best cereal brands across the world, one of which includes Coco Pops.

Coco Pops is the chocolate version of another cereal called Rice Krispies. This cereal came about as an attempt by the Kellogg company to unify Rice Krispies and its chocolate version.

My favourite thing about Coco Pops is the flavour. I love how the chocolate flavour is far from overwhelming. I specifically love how the cereal interacts with milk creating this delicious chocolate milk thing I love.

Verdict: Coco Pops are divine but you see the chocolate milk they form? Absolutely amazing!

Good Morning Cornflakes

Now, I know this opinion is steeped in controversy but by all means, hear me out. Don’t shut me out before you hear what I have to say. Listen, okay? Great!

Good Morning cornflakes is an elite cereal. It has great taste, doesn’t smell weird and is amazing all-round. There’s nothing you can tell me about this brand because I simply will not hear it. This is some GOOD cereal. Argue with your bowl and plate.

I discovered this gem in uni with my friend and roommate, Coco. We asked our other roommate, Amarachi, for her cornflakes in the middle of the night because we’d both run out of cereal and were ravenously hungry for no reason at all. After helping ourselves to the cereal, we both went out the next day to buy ourselves a pack each. It was love at first spoon.

Verdict: If you dislike Good Morning cornflakes, you deserve to eat cereal with a fork and flat plate.

Quaker Oats

Oats are typically a traditional breakfast cereal option. Their popularity till date proves that sometimes, keeping things traditional may not be as off-putting as most make it seem.

Quaker Oats is arguably the most popular oat producing brand across the globe. How many people would actually admit they knew that ‘Quaker Oats’ was the brand name and not the name of the cereal itself? Not very many!

Quaker Oats makes for an amazing cereal option for numerous reasons. It’s rich in fibre, it’s also a healthy breakfast choice since it keeps you sated for for longer periods of time and overall, can be paired with numerous fresh fruits and nuts.

Verdict: Nutritious, versatile, and absolutely delicious. How can you have a problem with oats?

Kellogg‘s Corn Flakes

Kellogg’s is the oldest breakfast cereal brand in the business. The Kellogg brothers, John and Will created cornflakes by accident in 1878 as a cure to masturbation. No cap, read about that here.

If Kellogg’s cornflakes proves anything, it's that mistakes can turn out to be the biggest blessings.

Kellogg’s is the first brand of cornflakes and breakfast cereal I ever had, and I fell in love at first spoon. This brand is just right. It combines the right amount of crunch, flavour, and aroma to produce the perfect bowl of sunshine to start your day.

Verdict: The best things in life are created by accident. Kellogg’s cornflakes is LIVING proof.

Frosties

Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes, or simply put, Frosties, is the best breakfast cereal in the market today. To keep it a buck, it DOES NOT get better than Frosties.

Created by the Kellogg brothers, Frosties is what happens when you intentionally create a breakfast option, unlike with the cornflakes. If we’re being honest, Frosties is just cornflakes that went to an Ivy League college, but I’ll be damned if that doesn’t make a difference.

What’s better than Frosties, you tell me? What’s better than the crunch of the cereal while your taste buds come alive to its sweetness. What’s more satisfying than enjoying a bowl of Frosties after a hot, cranky day? Nothing. Nothing, I tell you. It doesn’t measure up.

Verdict: Frosties are served to good people in whatever version of the afterlife you believe in. You know you’ve made it when you’re eating Frosties in this life and the next.

So do you agree with this ranking? Share your thoughts in the comments section, and remember, I said what I said, LOL!

A Definitive Ranking of Breakfast Cereals