Beneath the Confusing Menu Lies Deliciousness at House Cafe
NOSA: There’s something about House Cafe that upsets me so much. I can’t quite put my finger on it. Oh wait, I know. Why are there three different restaurants but one restaurant at the same time?
FOLLY: It’s like House Cafe thinks this is Eko Hotel in 1600 square feet.
NOSA: There’s a regular restaurant menu, a pizza menu, a pasta and pizza menu, and coffee shop menu. You’re basically given a whole bunch of papers to look at like you walked into a Nigerian bank asking for a loan.
FOLLY: When we arrived the waitress asked if we wanted to sit in the lifestyle restaurant, coffee shop, or “Bacio”
“3 Part Luxury Culinary Experience
-Bacio: Italian Cuisine| Pizzeria
-The HouseCafe Restaurant: Intercontinental
-Mocca Cafe : Coffee Beverages| Pastry”
NOSA: Look, I get the concept but the owners and I clearly have philosophical differences on this. What on earth is a “Lifestyle Restaurant” anyway?
“From the abstract (MOCCA), for its tick, freshly brewed coffee and alcohol twist to BACIO Italia, for the neo-Italian cuisine with assortments of alternative dinning for clients by night, the House Café has a knack to offer something for everyone with choice of delicious meals, fine dining, and unforgettable moments.”
NOSA: Why couldn’t all three menus be streamlined into one thing?
FOLLY: Terrible idea, that’ll result in one of those 15 page menus. I’d prefer they just streamline and focus on one cuisine.
NOSA: Or maybe something seasonal or a lunch/dinner split.
FOLLY: Asking for too much there, bro.
NOSA: Why does it have to be so overwhelming and just a lot. I just want to fight the owners.
The Francophone waitress is really pleasant though. They need to keep her.
FOLLY: This is why Nigeria isn’t progressing. You people don’t like our local content
NOSA: To start, we ordered the rocket and prosciutto pizza aka Roca Rocket
As much as I hate the concept of the restaurant, the pizza was so good. There’s an inverse relationship between how I feel about the restaurant versus how I feel about the pizza.
There’s actual rocket on it and not spinach like the rubbish pizza at Bottles. This might be my new favorite pizza in Lekki.
FOLLY: It’s the only good pizza in Lekki.
NOSA: I know there isn’t a lot of competition, but it nearly blows Harvest out the water.
FOLLY: The rocket was fresh, and the serving of prosciutto and feta was very generous on the pizza - so I had no complaints.
NOSA: Also really good was the tagliatelle. The sauce was the right amount of sweet and the tagliatelle was al dente as I liked it. Doesn’t hurt that the shrimp serving is very generous.
FOLLY: Sweetness seemed to come from the onions, wine and just a little bit of sugar.
NOSA: But yeah, you should order this.
NOSA: The only let down for me was the duck. It was definitely cooked a little too much and the end result was bleh beef-tasting duck. If anything, it should taste closer to a dark meat chicken thigh than boiled meat.
FOLLY: When it was first served, I had to ask the waitress if she hadn’t placed an order for the lamb cutlet instead.
NOSA: Oh, and the fries were rubbish.
FOLLY: Since they also pride themselves on having a cafe and bakery, I ordered the cheesecake for dessert. The gelatin top was a first for me and overall it was good enough.
POSTSCRIPT
NOSA: I have my complaints and reservations about the restaurant’s concept, but I can’t deny that the food is actually good. It hurts me to say it that I’ll be back again.
FOLLY: I really liked their pizza and I’ll definitely be back for that at the very least.
VERDICT
DAMAGE
Cheesecake - N3000
Roca Rocket - N5000
Soy Roast Duck - N9800
Prawns Tagliatelle - N4800
PARKING
Sufficient.