In honour of National Catfish Day, here’s how to maximize enjoyment while eating catfish.

Yes, “National Catfish Day” is an actual thing

So, you’ve just been served a plate of point and kill; here is a step by step way of making sure that you properly enjoy it.

1. Carry the plate, hold it carefully to avoid spillage.

2. Look for the nearest bin.

3. Once you have sighted a bin, empty the contents of the plate into the bin.

I said what I said. Nobody should be eating anything as gross as catfish. Yes, I’m talking to you, Denise.

Before you vex, let me give you a list of fish that is actually consumable and won’t clog your blood vessels with too much Omega-6 fatty acids and cause problems in your body. Now, I’m not saying catfish is completely unhealthy, however, there are healthier options for a fishy diet if you insist.

Since, I’m obviously not biased, I'll tell you that catfish isn’t completely terrible. It’s quite affordable, contains minerals, vitamins like vitamin D which contains calcium, and we all know calcium turns bones into vibranium (science).

However, there are other species of edible fish that are way healthier (and tastier) than catfish. Health nuts and experts recommend:

Mackerel

I know you can’t exactly have mackerel in pepper soup, but it is a great substitute for catfish in other dishes. It is an oily fish, and oily fish has been associated with many health benefits like protection from cancer, lower risk of heart disease, and dementia. It has also been known to help with weight loss, as it (and other oily fish) contains omega 3 fatty acids which helps in reducing inflammation. It’s also very affordable, either fresh or canned.

So instead of going to the nearest point and kill joint, maybe grab a can of Geisha today to satiate that burning need.

Sardines

Affordable, versatile and delicious, sardines pretty much share the same qualities as mackerel. They contain omega 3 acids, and we have already established the health benefits of fish that have that. Due to the fact that sardines only consume plankton, they do not contain the same amount of mercury that other fish do. Sardines are also a great source of vitamin B-12, which is really good news for the cardiovascular system and boosts energy to fight with your fellow Nigerians on the daily.

Salmon

Though not as affordable as our previous takers, salmon is also an excellent source of protein, vitamin B, potassium (which helps in reducing the risk of stroke, and high blood pressure), and antioxidant astaxanthin - which is an agent in reducing bad cholesterol and increasing good cholesterol, and many other health benefits. Not everyone can afford N5,000 for two fillets at Hubmart, so maybe save that for special occasions.

Croaker

A personal favourite, croaker is absolutely delicious. From vitamin A to D, to B-2, and B-12 E, K, croaker has it all. Croaker is perfect, even for a protein diet. The nutrients it contains helps in boosting the immune system- due to the presence of vitamin B5, boosts energy- thanks to vitamin B1, promotes the digestive system, vitamin B9- helps in keeping the eyes, skin, kidney, hair. It also helps in balancing hormones, building muscle mass- due to the level of potassium in it. I could go on and on, but my point is, croaker is the greatest.

Did I also mention that it’s delicious?

Tuna

Tuna is also a great choice containing amino acids, protein and our old friend, omega-3. The nutrients found in tuna fish helps to reduce the risk of cancer, strengthens bones, promotes weight loss, has the ability to boost the immune system, amongst other benefits.

So yeah, Catfish is not that great and believe me, there are plenty of substitutes. Let’s not forget that you could always opt out of the fish thing and go for other animals in the sea like octopus.

Finally, I’d like to reiterate: catfish belongs in the trash.

Sorry, not sorry.