A Mango Hater’s Guide to Mango Season
Mangoes are in season again! Whoop Whoop! Mango lovers – whom I think should call “mango heads” because, why not? – are sure to be having a blast this season. The fruit is all up in our faces. You can purchase them anywhere from street stalls to supermarkets alike! Clearly, it’s the month of the mango. While the availability of mangoes presents itself as good news to a lot of people, there are more than a few of us who cannot share this sentiment.
Simply put, mangoes are vile.
I sincerely cannot understand how human beings put mangoes in their mouths at will. Even thinking about it makes me shudder! Everybody loves mangoes and honestly, I want to love them but I just can’t. They’re just wrong!
They taste weird, the texture is all wrong and they smell like poison to me – well, they’re a distant relative to Poison Ivy. Coincidence? I think not! I’m serious, google it. If I had a nemesis, I’m certain it would be a mango – or maybe agbalumo, but that’s another story.
In as much as my dislike for mangoes is profound, I cannot deny that mangoes have amazing benefits. They are literal vitamin and mineral power packs. They contain many essential vitamins and minerals including Vitamins A, C and K, Riboflavin, Niacin and Potassium. Mangoes are powerful antioxidants and can be used to prevent health issues such as constipation, pile, and even heart disease. In a certain country, mangoes are so loved and cherished, they are the national fruit. Can guess which country it is? It’s India!
In Nigeria, many mango heads – yes, I’m making this a thing – consume the fine fruit raw. Biting deep into its flesh while chewing or sucking on its juices till all that is left is a bare husk is an ecstatic process for many – this does sound a lot like a mix of cannibalism and vampirism to me but, okay. Mangoes can be enjoyed in many ways besides being eaten as they are.
More than a few restaurants and pastry shops are keying into the mango madness and inculcating the fruit into their menus. Here are some ways you can enjoy the fruit this season:
So Fresh’s Mango Smoothies
Smoothies are a golden delicious and healthy option for fruit lovers and Fit-Fam fanatics
This month of the mango, smoothie lovers can enjoy a blend of fresh and juicy fruits So Fresh’s Mango Delite smoothie
Krispy Kreme’s Original Filled Mango Kreme
Krispy Kreme has launched a new doughnut called the Original Filled Mango Kreme. The doughnut, a classic ring doughnut, is filled with a blend of Krispy Kreme’s traditional ‘Kreme’ filling and tropical mangoes. For all mango heads looking to enjoy their favourite fruit while crushing their cravings for freshly fried dough, this doughnut just might be the answer.
Smoothie Express’ Mango Parfait
A talking donkey once said ‘Parfaits are delicious!’ and honestly, I am still searching for the lie. Parfaits are delicious!
This season, Smoothie Express offers our beloved mango heads the chance to enjoy the delicious dessert infused with the fruit of the hour. I honestly think we should be offering them our prayers but life is a choice and I am accepting of people’s choices. The Smoothie Express Mango Parfait contains creamy Greek yoghurt, mangoes, bananas, granola and coconut flakes. A blend that can do nothing but satisfy.
RICE’s Mango Rodo Sauce
Mango Rodo in a Rice Bowl at RICE
Mangoes and peppers – in this case, the pepper of all peppers, ata rodo – are not a combination that would easily come to mind. It’s safe to say, however, that Eat Rice Repeat has managed to create a sauce that balances the sharp contrast of the two flavours. The balance of spicy and sweet can even be said to complement each other.
Eat Rice Repeat offers a Build Your Own Bowl option so you can literally get lost in the sauce! Enjoy the mango rodo sauce with your choice of rice, salads, meats and everything in between.
Food Shack’s Mango & Basil Margarita
Margaritas are a cocktail that can only walk you down a path of happiness. Margaritas and mangoes, however, are a match made in Heaven!
The Food Shack Mango & Basil Margarita is a shoe in for the margarita loving mango head. Enjoy the best parts of your favourite fruit and cocktail in the combination you never knew you needed.
Mangoes are a delightfully versatile fruit. They can be infused in anything from pastries to savoury dishes and better still, alcohol. My apparent dislike for the fruit does nothing to cull the fact that indeed, eating mangoes is a wonderful experience for one’s taste buds. I’ll honestly never be able to ride on this bandwagon. Ever since I saw this tweet where this lady boiled mangoes as if they were chicken, my life has not been the same. It was a TRAVESTY!!!
My salutations go out to the demographic who willingly put mangoes in their mouths. I clearly don’t understand you but I respect you. Do enjoy the privilege while it lasts. A nemesis, after all, is not only by name.
*Cue: High-pitched evil laughter followed by thunder strikes*