Since we decided to make this a fortnightly thing, it’s either The Fates heard us and started sending wild things our way, or maybe I’ve just been coming across these mind-blowing things because humans never cease to move mad. Either way, this promises to be as perplexing for you as it was for me.  On this episode of the weirdest things people on Twitter eat, the common denominator, or should I say, victim, seems to be pizza. Brace yourself and proceed with caution.  

1. Baked Beans Pizza

When I saw this one, I had to invoke Osun and just ask her why, because only She can have an answer to this travesty. This was a baked beans pizza. Yeah, you read that right. Pizza, with beans. Beans oh, beans!! I have no words, but I share the sentiments in the tweet below. Hands will be thrown if I bite into a slice of pizza and get a mouthful of beans.

2. This meal that looks like road side sacrifice

Actually, I think this is the one I should have asked Osun about, solely because it looks like the sacrifices people usually leave at T-junctions. But I doubt even Osun would have an answer for this. Boiled eggs, a raw fish, something that looks like stew, and crabs all in one plate. And as a side dish? Eba. just shoot me now. 

3. Another crime against pizza

This one was committed by Domino’s in Taiwan (thank Osun). This pizza is apparently a dessert pizza and is bubble tea flavoured. Yep, on the pie are little balls of boba, embedded into the cheese. I don’t think I can ever forgive the person responsible for combining these two together. It’s something I should never have had to see in my life. *insert SpongeBob my eyes’ meme*

4. This idea needs to never come to life!

Thankfully, this was just an idea, not executed yet and hopefully nipped in the bud. That’s all. He might be unto something though, I mean, sweet potato pie? But no, he said Irish potatoes. This could possibly be a vegan option but I don’t want to imagine what it tastes like.

5. This one looks like something out of a horror movie!

Boiled eggs on pizza. That’s it. And you don’t have to imagine the horror, I can help you with that. Honestly, this looks like what they feed to people in hell. Gross.

6. We need to collectively send this person love and light in these dark, dark times.

I sincerely hope everything is well at home.

7. Apparently, people are out here eating amala as cereal

One of my followers tweeted about eating amala and milk and while I’ve since blocked him for such a travesty, I had to ask first. I was trying to understand what this was, so I asked if the milk was supposed to act as soup, but apparently not, the amala was supposed to act as cereal. Sigh. 

Yeah, I’m done. See ya’ll in another two weeks.