“The original title for this was “The JollyBaby EDL Budget for Bad Bitches”, but I thought about it auto tweeting to my personal twitter and I thought against it. Oh, and my sponsors said I should not bring their name to disrepute or something like that. See, I’m looking out for you, Sterling Bank. “ - Nosa

Before we get to the business of why we are here I need to say in public how proud I am of Nosa & Folly. I’ve been for every single Festival by EDL and watching it grow is something that makes me super happy, especially as I told Nosa that “nobody will read his nonsense blog” when he started. Now I am doing a review for the blog. So kids what does that teach you? To be honest I didn’t learn anything but I’m sure one or two Nigerians will find a lesson in there. That’s your business! 

A-NY-WAYSSSSSSSSS

I really, really love food (my waistline is so very aware) and that makes sticking to a 10k budget per day really, really hard. I can hear some of you judging me and would like to remind you all that I’m a growing child. Where a 26-year-old is growing to is my business so mind yours.

Ehen so down to why we are here

DAY 1 - Budget: N10,000

(or thereabouts because nobody can tell me what to do, I’m a free spirit)

1. Rueben sandwich from Chef Khudu – 2500

   I’ve been bugging Isume (Chef Khudu) for the better part of a year about EatDrinkFestival, and as soon as he knew he had a stall he messaged me to “allow him hear word”. My ideal would be to buy all 3 items on his menu but for the sake of not being a glutton, I’ll stick to the Rueben sandwich (and may or may not bully my brother into getting the “Three wise men” sliders so I can enjoy myself)

2. Pyam (stuffed with pomo mince) from Eko Street Eats – 1000

   The Ijesha woman in me is super curious to find out what exactly stuffed pounded yam would taste like. I’m even overriding the part of me that hates assorted meat (yes even shaki too) to try this. I am honestly so, SO brave.

3. Breakfast Taco from El Padrino – 1000

   I skip breakfast 87% of the time but I love breakfast food and this is the closest to a breakfast-y food item on any of the menus so I am sold!

4. Mango Tango Daquiri from Limehouse bars – 1500

   I don believe in cocktails that aren’t sweet. So the sweeter the ingredients involved, the happier I am. That is all

5. Coconut jerk ribs with grilled corn from the AJ’S – 1500

   I may or may not have had every single thing on the AJ’s menu last year but due to budgetary constraints I have limited myself to just one thing this year (and I am already upset in advance). Coconut itself stresses me out but foods made with coconut (and yes that includes bounty which pagans CONSTANTLY disrespect because they don’t have class) make me very happy so I’m excited to see what the jerk and cocout combination will taste like.

6. Red velvet waffles & ice cream from Vanessa’s Waffle House – 2000

   Ice cream and waffles are a match made in Orobo heaven and I am a card carrying member of that club. Thank me later.

Day 1 Total – 9500.

Because I’m not just beautiful and funny. I’m also prudent. #JolaForPresident

Day 2 – Budget N10,000

1. Eko Miami from 19.8 Drinks & Cocktails – 1000

   I don’t need to know what is in the beverage. That name lets me know I’m here in for a good time. Bring it on.

2. Jollof Arancini from Heels in the Kitchen – 1000

   I first had this at the jollof festival and LOVED it. Someone is asking me “why not try something else” and my answer to that is “is it your money?”

3. Tomato & Basil Meatball Pasta from Kewa’s Kitchen – 1500

   Fun fact: I love pasta, but I hate spaghetti shaped pasta, and it’s a long and very sad story stemming back to primary school. HOWEVER, I am giving Kewa a chance to undo years of trauma with this dish. It’s a tall order but I believe in her.

4. Oreo coco bailey milkshake from The Shake Bar – 1500

   I am an Oreo milkshake fiend! I don’t think there is any establishment selling (alleged) nice oreo milkshakes in Lagos I have not been to and let me just say, it has been a journey. Because winners never quit, I will be giving this milkshake a try and hoping for the best. Pray for me guys.

5. Ribs from Rhodes BBQ Smokehouse - 1500

   One of my dreams is to drive around Texas eating my weight in ribs, chicken and cornbread. But till then, we take what we get innit.

6. Cheesecake bar from Obi Bakes it – 350

   It’s cake. Why not?

7. Twisted Chapman from Rum & Passion – 800

   Chapman is one of the greatest things Nigeria has to offer. One step away from ambrosia if you ask me.

8. Bowl of glory from Chow Station X Louie Boy’s Kitchen – 1500

   Chicken nuggets and asun is a combination I didn’t know I needed till now. I am intrigued.

Day 2 Total – 9150

Once again, a prudent queen. Keep the change and get yourselves something nice. Don’t mention.

(Ed Note: If you’re a prudent queen like Jola, after the festival, we’ll allow you get a refund on the balance on your wristband. Ensure you don’t lose your the band)

If you’d like to prepare for the festival like Jola, check out the festival map HERE and the vendor menus HERE. If you haven’t got your wristbands, you can get them online on our ticketing site and pick them up from Cafe One before the festival.

#EatDrinkFestival presented by Sterling Bank is taking place on Dec. 26-27 at the Lekki Coliseum (14 Providence Street, off Admiralty Way, Lekki Phase 1).