A cocktail by definition is a concoction of alcoholic spirits and other ingredients, and while that requires a lot of creativity. Imagine the chaos that comes with creating names as well, a real nightmare.

Our editor came across some of the weirdest things Nigerians search for and we found the Pornstar Martini. As you can probably imagine, yes it was relating to pornographic content which tells you all you need to know about perverted minds.

And so, we came up with a list of cocktails that have some stellar situations and taglines around them.

Comfortable Fuzzy Screw Up Against the Wall with a Kiss.

When we visited The Lagoon last summer, we were given some unimaginative drinks, which made us conclude that creativity isn’t always a good thing. Unfortunately, The Lagoon also gave us the Bitchy Witch alongside the title of this paragraph, which reads more like a confused sentence than the name of a drink. Both cocktails were meh and maybe that’s what they needed to mask their incompetence.

Black Russian

I don’t know if this is just me but I’ve always wondered what a Black Russian would look like. Will he be mean or lean, a bleached black man or tanned white man, or just a fellow who was born in Russia battling severe identity issues? Stellar drink, by the way, you don’t want to ever miss it!

Bloody Mary

I often wonder what the inspiration behind this cocktail from a religious context. In the bible, ‘The woman with the issue of blood’ wasn’t called Mary. And how did we miraculously get to a time where people became comfortable with a drink that sounds like either blasphemy or a woman who’s had her period? Also, will it make sense if the mocktail was called Godly Mary?

The Cobra’s Fang

Any cocktail that needs absinthe in its recipe is a very dangerous thing. Just like what Eve exposed all of us to in the Garden of Eden, this drink has some deceptive and sweet undertones that create the perfect scenario to overindulge with pure venom. Be warned!

Last Word

Likewise being fascinated by liquor from Pre-Prohibition era, the Last Word also originated at that time. The gin cocktail, which gets its green hue from Chartreuse is proof that you maybe want to get all your points across before sipping, as it will definitely be the last time your voice is heard. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I’ll ever find a green drink appealing.

Brandy Alexandra

This is one of the best drinks I’ve had. Jerry, the mixologist from RSVP has it on a secret menu and will only give you if he likes you lol jk. It is very unassuming and incorporates unusual ingredients like nutmeg, cream, Rémy Martin and other secret stuff. Its best quality is that it sneaks up on you very slowly, which if you think about might be intentional because of the name.

Corpse Reviver

The drink that’s most popular for curing hangovers in alcoholics, is also a noteworthy contender of creativity. While Craddock notes that it should be taken before 11 am, or whenever steam or energy is needed, I advise you to try it when you’re dead. Savoy No2 recipe advises: “Four of these taken in swift succession will revive the corpse again.”

Mind Eraser

So remember all the warnings I keep sharing on vodka, please explain to me how a cocktail made predominantly with just vodka and soda water is supposed to help keep your memory and thoughts sane?

Set the New Year On Fire

Apart from the fact that this is made with stellar ingredients (scotch, campari, rum) that feel like fire when you combine. I don’t know why you wouldn’t want to drink this when crossing over to the new decade: 2020.

To conclude, I am making a case that Nigerian mixologists concoct a classic that incorporates the ingenious ogogoro. There’s no harm in trying to create a drink with a spirit that’s used to appease some river goddesses of the Niger Delta, as well as prepare troops for battle.

A List Of Cocktails With Interesting Names