FOLLY: Shitty customer service across all industries in Nigeria is a national problem. Just look at this conversation that transpired on Nigerian Twitter yesterday.

Another example, a friend told me he went into a bank in Lagos (name withheld) and the teller was eating lunch (Amala) while attending to him. We, collectively as Nigerians, don’t understand customer service as a concept.

NOSA: Nigerian attendants can’t be bothered with you unless you’re an absolute dickhead to them. It’s almost like you have to earn their respect or something.

FOLLY: But this post isn’t about chronicling our worst customer service experiences at Nigerian restaurants, it’s about those times that we went into a restaurant in Lagos and began to wish we didn’t.

NOSA: There was this one time we went to Casa Lydia with Folly’s cousin, Mo. Mo ordered “Fish & Chips”, the English working class staple. This…

what she got, however, was this…

I mean, I guess that’s fish and chips if we’re being technical.

FOLLY: Another time, I went to that same restaurant and they told me the Chef had gone to church so I should come back later…

This other time, I went to Long Bar and ordered a mojito. The waitress asked me if I wanted to order something else because the bartender had gone out.

NOSA: Apparently, they sent their only bartender to buy “something”. Waitress really said we could have beer if we wanted smh smh.

FOLLY: Sometime last year, Nosa and I went to Inspiro Galeria and ordered a full english breakfast. We asked for our eggs to be scrambled. Any guesses what we got?

Boiled Eggs.

Yes, boiled eggs in a full english. Apparently, “some people like it like that”.

NOSA: Folly, being the princess that she is, complained about the meal. I just wanted to pay and be done with it. The owner was real nice and told us not to bother paying for it. Nice of her, eh?

The real kicker here is that the owner came on the blog and dropped this long comment about media bias or some shit. We weren’t even reviewing the place. I just wanted breakfast and I told Folly to come with. Let’s ignore the fact Folly barely ate, why on earth won’t I eat a meal that I was planning on paying for?

FOLLY: Another time we went to 355 and they were shooting something for television inside so we were confined to that outdoor confused space. Okay.

NOSA: I think it was that election roundtable thing MTV Base did.

FOLLY: Who cares what they were shooting. They should just have closed the restaurant. The place was dirty and disgusting, some people were eating outside food there and had littered their leftovers and the 355 staff were very unconcerned by it all.

NOSA: I don’t think I’ve been to 355 since this incident.

Anyway, enough of us. What has been your worst experience in a Lagos restaurant?