Lagos Finally Gets a Hard Rock Cafe

December 25, 2015 Folly

FOLLY: I don't know how Nosa gets his new restaurant alert but he's always on top of this shit.

NOSA: A guy at the gym actually told me they were officially open. He had gone for dinner on opening night and couldn't stop talking about how massive the place was. The place is really goddamn huge.

FOLLY: I wonder if this was his first time at this Hard Rock cause in Nosa's prime he lost his sushi virginity with two different babes two days apart and each one thought it was his first time.

NOSA: I peaked really early. Such a shame.

I'm really happy Lagos got a Hard Rock because maybe the people at Popeye's will finally give us a chance. I mean, there's a Popeye's in Turkey FFS. I know for a fact that Nigerians like chicken more than Turkish people. We deserve a Popeye's!

Anyway though, we got onion rings, mac n' cheese, a burger, and fajitas. Yeah, we really pigged out.

FOLLY: The food at Hard Rock did not match the price. but not in an RSVP way. I think RSVP can justify theirs cause it's a fancy restaurant and supposedly use premium ingredients and make everything from scratch but Hard Rock idk man.

NOSA: It's a chain restaurant and with chain restaurants, you expect chain things. The onion rings, for instance, were decent. Not great, but decent. They might be the best onion rings you'll find in Lagos because there's a dearth of onion rings in Lagos, but in the grand scheme of onion ring things, these are a bit average.

The Fiesta Burger was more or less the same story. Now, the bun was absolutely fantastic and they made my patty medium like I asked, but it wasn't an excellent burger on the whole.

Unlike the onion rings, I've actually had better in Lagos. They gave me what I asked for but the meh-ness of it all couldn't be overcome.

FOLLY: The Twisted Mac n Cheese was my absolute favourite thing, shame I couldn't eat it all. The crispy topping really made it come alive and then there was chicken in it too. Oh God, I'm still so sad I couldn't it all cause my digestive system is scraps.

NOSA: Now, this one I'll cosign. The mac n' cheese was bloody excellent. Now, that Folly has left me alone in Lagos for the holidays, I'm going back to the Hard Rock to give them the mac n' cheese again. There's one with grilled chicken in it too. We move!

FOLLY: I forgot to take a picture of my mojito but it was delicious. The best part was that the leaves weren't muddled too much so it wasn't like I was drinking ewedu.

Okay, so our waiter Kalvin decided he was American or maybe he was cause there are several foreigners at the restaurant training and supervising the local team.

NOSA: I think whenever a new Hard Rock opens, they send a bunch of waiters from HQ to ease the launch process. Smart move.

FOLLY: Anyway, Kalvin's accent was really really good, unlike the guacamole. It wasn't even like a Nollywood accent he actually got that accent down pat.

Shame Kalvin forgot to place my order for Chicken Fajitas till Nosa had finished eating. He didn't even know he had forgotten till he came around to ask if everything was okay.

FOLLY: The chicken was okay but the guacamole was terrible. Yes, I've said that before but I'm just repeating myself for emphasis.

NOSA: Now that I think about it, I think it was the guac that threw my burger off. You know when you make guac and you leave it out for a bit too long? Like, it turns dark green and just becomes gross? Yeah, that's what this guac was.

FOLLY: Our starter portions were pretty big and I had eaten a lot of Nosa's fries while I was waiting for my food so I ended up not eating a lot of my own food.

POSTSCRIPT

FOLLY: The portions at Hard Rock are what you would be expect from an American restaurant- LARGE. Nigerians will like that for sure.

NOSA: On the whole, the food was meh but I think a lot of people will come here more for the space than the food. They're getting a pool and the manager told us they'll be having karaoke, which will probs be awesome because Shaunz Bar is so tiny. Hard Rock is perfect for office parties and whatnot. The Tupelo chicken tenders are awesome btw. Got them yesterday.

VERDICT

DAMAGE

Onion Rings - N1500

Twisted Mac n' Cheese - N1500

Fiesta Burger - N3333

Chicken Fajita - N4000