Harzoyka

71B Oduduwa Crescent, GRA Ikeja, Lagos.

0813 744 1631. 0803 313 4615.

NOSA: Expats in Lagos have such an incredibly different Lagos experience. I say it all the time but it bears repeating. There’s the Lagos we all know and there’s the expat Lagos. Finding the expat hideouts in Lagos is one favorite things to do. I walk in and look at them like, “Ha! I’ve infiltrated the club”. This weekend, in Harzoyka, we found another one.

FOLLY: The expat hideouts are usually cheaper than most other places especially the beer. I bet it's like they own it and their friends come there too so they don't want to extort them. I wish Nigerian business owners would do the s....

NOSA: The exterior is like an outdoor pub. There’s probably a better way to describe it, but I’m coming up short so bear with me. The interior leaves a lot to be desired, however. 

FOLLY: There were some Indian daddies belting out a greatest hits CD, I think, that was playing.

NOSA: On a related note, Michael Jackson is the most overrated musician of all time.

NOSA: To start, we got the meat platter. I wasn’t really paying attention to our waiter, who was helpful when he was describing it. It’s basically an assortment of every “meat” appetizer on their menu. Carnivores delight, clearly. 

FOLLY: Let me help, it had like four different types of chicken - chicken tikka, tandoori chicken, Unknown name chicken, and chicken sausage). We also got a mutton sausage and fish tikka. 

NOSA: I loved the platter. If you come here, this is a must order. Unless, all that meat isn’t your thing and I’ll understand. 

FOLLY: The waitress actually said we wouldn't enjoy it when we placed the order and so we ordered it in defiance while I thought to myself "you don't know my life, you don't know my story"

NOSA: The nerve of the babe.  

I can’t point out which is which from looking at the picture but it all tasted damn delicious.

FOLLY: I can help. Clockwise is the chicken sausage, tandoori chicken, unknown chicken, chicken tikka, mutton sausage and in the centre is the fish tikka.

The fish and chicken tikka were my faves. The fish was flaky, the chicken was tender and the spice blend was the BOMB. I didn't like either of the sausages that much because of the hard exterior which I didn't quite get. Like is it supposed to prevent you from getting to all the decliciousness?

NOSA: The Cheese Naan was lovely, but when is cheese naan never not lovely? The mains were a bit meh for me. They weren’t bad, just a bit bland for me.

FOLLY: The mains were disappointing because the platter we had to start was really good and so we started the experience on a high that was difficult to sustain with our main choices. 

NOSA: The Bhuna Gosh had this pulled pork texture, which didn’t exactly bang on the day but tasted wayyyy better as leftovers the next day. 

FOLLY: The Chicken Vindaloo kinda missed the mark for me there was this spice that didn't really dissolve well into the stew/broth so the entire thing tasted sandy to me. I disgaree completely with Nosa on the Bhuna Gosh, it was my favourite. 

NOSA: The Veggie Biryani was my favorite of the lot. Must be the Nigerian in me that appreciates it because, you know, rice.

FOLLY: The rice was bland and I absolutely hated that there were beans in it. I don't even know the name of the bean but they were large, light green coloured beans and I wasn't a fan. 

POSTSCRIPT

NOSA: Harzoyka is good enough, but I'd never to drive all the way to Ikeja for it. If you live in the Ikeja area, you should go for it. 

FOLLY: It's good and very affordable, worth it if you're in the area. They also have a lunch buffet, but I'm afraid I didn't catch the price. 

VERDICT

DAMAGE

Cheese Naan - N700

Bhuna Gosh - N2200

Vegetable Biryani - N1800

Chicken Vindaloo - N2200

Non Vegetarian Platter - N4500

PARKING

They might not let you park inside but parking is available outside and on the street.