A California Spa in Lagos

February 5, 2016 Folly

FOLLY: Whole 30 is over and so Nosa and I are back to our regular unhealthy eating ways. We're trying to change but not really, because yesterday we ate a bucket of MSG for dinner. We drank water instead of alcoholic beverages though, so I guess that makes up for it. Enough about that though, let's talk about the early dinner we got at a California spa in Lagos by the name of Clear Essence.

NOSA: Is a "California Spa" a special type of spa? They keep stressing the California-ness of the spa all over Clear Essence and a quick google reveals there's no spa called Clear Essence in California. Or is the "California" part of the wash? I mean, I know the skin care brand but the spa? Never heard of it. If you know more, educate me abeg.

FOLLY: My initial reaction when I saw the menu was "wawu" because it was very expensive. I just knew Nosa was shaking his head at me internally because I had been messaging him daily for three days that we should come here.

NOSA: I've heard about how expensive Clear Essence is, and I'll be honest, it's not the most expensive place I've been to in Lagos. Top 10, maybe. Still expensive sha.

FOLLY: Here's a tip, whenever you come to these expensive restaurants and you don't feel like dropping your buck, order pasta.

FOLLY: That said, this might not be most representative review of Clear Essence and their offerings because we went for the cheaper stuff.

NOSA: Abeg abeg, 5k for pasta is plenty.

FOLLY: I don't mind going back, in fact if you want me to just send an email I have an auto responder with my bank account number.

FOLLY: My pasta was penne and chicken stew.

NOSA: I believe the term you're looking for is Penne Arabiatta.

FOLLY: Certainly not as stew-y as that at Casa Lydia but still stew-y enough to tell that they used 'ata-lilo' to make it.

The pasta had a lot of (dry) chicken in it so they definitely get props for that. It was also a pretty big portion, so I asked for what I couldn't eat to be packed to take home, and as I write this now I am reminded that it's still in the fridge as I forgot to eat it.

FOLLY: When the waitress brought our food. She apologized for "the delay" and that it was because they were making our food fresh. To be honest, there wasn't any real delay as it took the standard amount of time to get the food ready.

However, parts of my pasta were cold so I then became suspicious as to whether she was overcompensating for a lie that it was not indeed made fresh but warmed in an obviously defective microwave.

NOSA: LMAO babe brought your pasta out the fridge

NOSA: As for me, I ordered the strangest Spaghetti Carbonara I've ever had in my life. I'm used to getting bacon bits in this, but this time, I got chicken sausage. That's what it said on the menu, but for some reason I was expecting bacon bits AND the chicken sausage. The bacon is an essential part of the whole thing.

The carbonara wasn't overly eggy like the one at Taverna so I was definitely a fan, but at over 5k, it wasn't worth it. Paying damn near N6000 and your pasta comes with Princes sausage. Man, one of these days, I'm going to fight a restaurant owner

POSTSCRIPT

FOLLY: Overall, Clear Essence California Spa (lol, yes I have to call them by their full name) was okay. I just can't give them a gold star because the food cost more than it should in terms of what's out there in Lagos. There are other restaurants that'll give you better pasta for a percentage of what Clear Essence cost.

NOSA: The food isn't bad but the price point is preposterous. Daylight robbery. The waitress undercharged by like 1000 when the bill eventually came, but I refused to tell her. Had to steal some of my money back.

VERDICT

DAMAGE

Penne Arabatta - N5500

Spaghetti Carbonara - N5500