FOLLY: We've always wanted to review Hans & Rene but couldn't figure out how. Do we say what our favorite flavor is ? or do we try and taste various flavours and write little notes on each?

NOSA: You can't really "review" a place like H&R. What are you going to say? "Oh, this wasn't authentic gelato, it tasted like ice cream"? 

FOLLY: Hans & Rene on a Saturday (or any day really) is easily the Happiest Place in Lagos and here are ten reasons why.

1. Rice Milk Gelato

FOLLY: Fun fact I'm lactose intolerant and they have something for struggle citizens like me.

NOSA: When H&R opened shop, Folly had ZERO interest in checking it out.

"I'm lactose intolerant. Am I just going to watch you eat?" 

Yeah, the real grumpy smurf. 

FOLLY: Guilty as charged. 

2. Puff-Puff and Gelato

FOLLY: Thanks to Hans & Rene, Nosa ticked something off his food bucket list - puff-puff as dessert. 

NOSA: At some Christmas party last year, I met this one guy that dropped this little idea in my head. It's such a logical combo that I can't believe no one has ever done it before. Why did it take humanity so long to put puff-puff and gelato in the same place?

3. Agbalumo and Zobo Sorbet

FOLLY: I love that they experiment with local flavors. 

4. Their Instagram game is elite

FOLLY: Every other Nigerian brand's Instagram is pedestrian compared to theirs, including ours.

NOSA: Absolutely shit on everyone in the game. Apart from us though. I don't know what Folly is talking about. 

FOLLY: Please I'm a yoruba girl with home training, and I was taught to respect my elders.

5. Tiramisu & Apple Crumble

FOLLY: They were so thoughtful with this Instagram picture of our favorite desserts.

NOSA: Tiramisu is my favorite desert so by default their tiramisu gelato is my favorite. 

FOLLY: The salted caramel is my favorite gelato flavor.

6. Their Bathroom

FOLLY: Their bathroom is straight out of Alice in Wonderland. 

NOSA: That chair thing weirds me out low-key

7. Their Gelato is Magic

FOLLY: I'm lactose intolerant and somehow I can still eat their gelato. Magic, I tell you magic!

NOSA: From the same person that was so against Hans & Rene. Tsk tsk.

FOLLY: I just needed a little nudge. 

8. Neopolitan for Kamara

FOLLY: Earlier this year when Chef Flo set up a GoFundme to raise money for her daughter's speech therapy, Hans & Rene created a special flavor for Kamara and donated the proceeds. 

NOSA: I thought it was really sweet when they did this. Nigerian brands never ever do things like this. It's always the dead CSR year in year out. The GMs come out in some company shirt, do some photo op whatever, their PR agency emails the pictures to media houses, and that's it.

No lives really impacted.

100% fluff. 

9. Glazed Donuts

FOLLY: RIP Chocolat Royale and oh haiiiii H&R 👋👋👋

NOSA: You know, H&R really came through so casually and blew up that spot. Chocolat Royale and Ice Cream Factory had that thing on lock until H&R came out. 

Conspiracy Theory - What if H&R were the ones that snitched on Chocolat Royale? 😱😱😱

10. Red Velvet Cones

FOLLY: Nigerians love red velvet so they make a waffle cone in it = makes sense. 

NOSA: If you still don't believe us, just walk in on a weekend and watch all the kids in action.

FOLLY: RIP Fantasy Land and World of Fun. Does Apapa Amusement Park still exist ? 

NOSA: Probably not. 

As for the wonderful people at H&R, we're still not going to introduce ourselves next time we come. Still shy.