NOSA: Remember when Johnny Rockets opened and it was not full? Yeah, me neither.

Last time I was here, there was a line outside to get in. Like, you know those lines outside Cheesecake Factory with the different party groups and shit? Yeah, that's how it was.

Not so much tonight and lucky for them, I spent my entire day on Shake Shack’s Instagram. A little back story here: Burger King’s Texas Smokehouse Burger singlehandedly pioneered my Freshman 15 rocks. Sonic’s corndogs too, but that’s a story for another day.

FOLLY: Nosa, you disgust me. Please tell us, were you a regular at Long John Silver's and Taco Bell too ?

NOSA: In a nod to the burger that made me the man I am today, I got Johnny Rockets’ Smokehouse Single (I'm Ray Charles to all Taco Bell shade). The fries had damn near perfect consistency, but sorely lacked salt. It’s like that kid on the football team that had everything but talent. He had amazing stamina and could juggle the ball with textbook technique, but he had zero natural talent. The Gary Neville of French Fries, this. Speaking of fries though, I hear some spots serve you yam fries posing undercover as french fries. Foul.

FOLLY: KFC at City Mall I'm looking at you. Nobody can tell me it wasn't yam fries I got that day. I'm kind of ashamed to admit that I ate them though. Look, I may have been hungover and needed to rally. I didn't want to miss that day's beach rocks.

NOSA: Lowkey judging you.

Anyway, the burger was decent. The sauce was excellent and the bacon had the right amount of crisp to it. The bun didn’t get in the way, contrary to how struggle it looks in the picture. The onion rings tasted a little burnt so no bueno. The patty was just ok. I feel like everything is either amazing or trash these days. I'm guilty of it too. Sometimes you have to respect things for being ok. You’re not accepting mediocrity per se, but hey, not everybody can be first.

I know Johnny Rockets gets a bad rap for being overpriced. It’s a fair argument that I can’t knock. For an OK burger, you should be paying Mr. Biggs prices, right? Like Desus says though, “you gotta hear both sides”. Most “upscale” spots in Lagos will serve you a garbage burger at a premium. Just look at Crust and Cream, for instance. I might need Folly to verify this, but that burger was like 4 or 5k.

FOLLY: Nosa, I hope you know that this counts as solo rocks. I suggested something and you just fully pioneered the whole ting on your jays. I'm not hurt but it's been noted, duly noted.

NOSA: Nope. You're not going to hold this against me.

Damage

Burger - N2,400

Fries - N 600

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