Your visa expired. You had to come back for NYSC. You forgot you were an F-1 and started catching feelings for these oyinbo things. Now your IJGB has expired and the accent is all dried up. You are here, in hot Lagos, longing for things you know you'll never find.
We know the feels, fam.
Here are the 5 things we wish moved home with us.
Beer on tap
NOSA: Every place in Lagos that claims to have beer on tap only has Castle. Castle is decent for what it is, but variety would be nice. There's just something about beer on tap that makes it infinitely yummier than regular bottled/canned beer. There's a certain freshness to it. Look, I can't explain.
FOLLY: There's something so charming about being served by a kind elderly lady at an American diner. I love the way they always punctuate every statement with a different term of endearment e.g. "so how would you like your eggs today sweetie?". They always treat you like you're family and it's the best feeling ever. At the same time, there's something so deliciously rebelious about having breakfast for dinner. In fact, if I were being completely honest, I can't remember a time I went to IHOP when it wasn't dark out.
Pumpkin Spice Latte
NOSA: I have a confession, guys. Deep down, I'm really a white girl in a Northface - your everyday Basicca. Judge me all you want because I don't care. Pumpkin Spice Lattes are the absolute gospel. Those white women in Lululemon yoga pants have told no lies.
FOLLY: We've searched high and low and come to the conclusion that good chicken wings and Lagos are mutually exclusive. Why are good chicken wings so hard to find in Lagos ? Why must we suffer ? Every single establishment does the same variation of chicken wings in stew. From 355, to Rhapsody's, to Casa Lydia, every single goddam place. Well, except the Long Bar and their wings are not exceptional like that, they just don't put them in stew.
NOSA: I'll be the first one to say Chipotle isn't "real" Mexican food, it's Americanized Mexican food. Unbelievably delicious Americanized Mexican food.
Sometimes, at night, I dream of quesaritos. Don't judge me.
And no, Bottles isn't the same.