NOSA: I got the Chicken Buffalo Goujons, which is fancy for “Buffalo Chicken Tenders”. They were EVERYTHING. The cheese sauce it came with was absolutely delicious too. Didn’t get to look at the regular menu but if there isn’t an iteration of this as a main, Bistro 7 needs to get on that.
FOLLY: In my opinion, chicken needs a better PR person. I always pick the seafood or beef option before the chicken always! That said, Nosa’s chicken buffalo tenders were surprisingly yummy, especially the cheese sauce.
I didn’t know what Salmon Blinis were and the waiter wasn’t particularly helpful but I ordered it anyway. If you’re like me it was like a thick pancake base topped with herb cream cheese and smoked salmon, and it was absolutely delightful. I think the herb cream cheese was my favourite part; I wouldn’t mind smothering that on a warm bagel.
NOSA: I ordered the Steak medium rare and it came out more medium well than medium rare. Not that much of a deal breaker and I guess I should be grateful it didn’t come out like Sallah meat. A group of girls on the table behind us got theirs well done. Disgusting.
Look, if you’re going to get a well-done steak, you might as well just get Suya and call it a day. You have to be a true savage to get a well-done steak. Brothers, if you’re on a date and she gets a well-done steak, leaving is well within your rights. That’s not the type woman you want to have dealings with.
I wasn’t a fan of my steak getting smothered in gravy. The juiciness of a medium rare steak renders the gravy useless. Gravy on any steak north of medium is like overcompensating. You know what needed the gravy though? The mashed potatoes. The mashed potatoes were pretty dull and lacked oomph. Probably because they use real potatoes and not the genetically engineered stuff you find in America. Nigeria really needs to get on that GMO wave. It might bring us First-World problems like rising obesity levels, but it would totally be worth it.
FOLLY: My fish was a disaster. It was a [pancake] battered tilapia fillet with a salty sauce. Probably the same batter that was used in my salmon blini. Awks.
While we were eating, Nosa said me eating the side salad first (and happily too) was a testament to how badly the fish was prepared. The lettuce was real crunchy though, so I’ll take that win. I ate the smaller one of the fillets and barely touched the big one, it was way too salty and I could taste the raw pancake batter.
NOSA: The brownies were terrible, which is crazy because how do you ruin brownies.
FOLLY: That was not a sizzling brownie! It wasn’t even warm enough for the chocolate sauce and whipped cream to melt. Fail guys.
NOSA: “Sizzling Brownie A La Mode”, they said. Sizzling, it wasn’t.
FOLLY: The cheesecake was forgettable. The butterscotch was real sweet though; I liked that.
NOSA: I’m not a big cheesecake person so I wouldn’t trust my opinion on it.
FOLLY: Oh and if we’re being pedantic, it was a sliver of cheesecake and barely a slice.
NOSA: The appetizers were absolutely delightful and probably the big winners of the night. It’s a shame the meal got progressively worse with each course. That said, it was pretty decent bang for your buck on the “price vs quality/quantity” scale. I’ll give them that. Took a look at their lunch menu earlier and it might be the biggest steal since the British made off with all the Bini art.
FOLLY: The menu presented two options: Strawberry Margarita and Lime Margarita. I usually choose strawberry, but this time I chose lime against my gut and probably Olivia Pope’s too. Big mistake. It was way too strong, lacked any sweetness and was a bit sour. After the bartender watered it down, it was slightly sweeter and drinkable.
"Prix-fixe" - N6000